Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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