So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
where are you?
Hypothermia
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
