remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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