I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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