The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I came so hard my ears popped.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
