Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
