grandma shit on top of the toilet
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
