I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
