i barfeds in our rink
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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