My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Couch. On fire.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
