Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
