Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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