So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
