I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize