exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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