Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
