wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
