So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
