question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
