Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I love you.
Bad choice
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
