just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We had to coat check the pizza.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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