Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
