Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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