So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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