You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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