Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Randomize
