dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
