i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Operation Purity has been aborted
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
