He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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