I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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