I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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