he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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