My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize