their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
