See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
