I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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