We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
