I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
