just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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