he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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