I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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