That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
