I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
