Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
