He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Randomize
