So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i will never coherently bang her
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
