You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
my liver is dry heaving
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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