how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
