I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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