please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
