why didn't you poke me back
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he thought i was a dude.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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