how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
