I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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