Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
