Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
