I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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