Only a mothe r could love this liver
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
