trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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