He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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