Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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