Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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