Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
