I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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