I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
