Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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