I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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