Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
