Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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